Tag: courage

Not to Dare is to Lose Oneself

Last night I watched Thomas Vinterberg’s Another Round, a story of four friends languishing in middle age who decide to test a theory that humans are born with an alcohol deficiency of 0.05% by drinking everyday. The story closes with a quote from Denmark’s own, Soren Kierkegaard that I think articulates the need for us all, no matter our age, to take a risk:

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”

I think sometimes we feel the itch to dare but for fear of the unknown we play it safe and it’s then we start to, as Kierkegaard put it, lose ourselves.

Quit your job. Ask someone out. Move to another country.

Meeting Imposter Syndrome

Two days ago I resumed work on a book proposal I’ve been meaning to write for a while and, to my dismay, something I met when I started the proposal was still there waiting for me: fear.

Some call it Imposter Syndrome. Tom Hanks has felt it. Thom Yorke has felt it. Neil Gaiman has felt it. Hell, even Michelle Obama has felt it. If you dare to do something that will place you in the public eye, like write a book that readers and critics will scrutinise, it makes sense that you’ll doubt yourself. What if they think you’re an idiot? Chances are, given hundreds of thousands of readers, someone somewhere will.

Book publishing, especially in the non-fiction categories, is just as much about the author’s credibility as it is about the book. Notice how many authors are journalists, professors or, at least, ‘experts’ in their fields. It makes sense from a publisher’s perspective because, while a book may be art to its author, to the publisher it’s an investment. I believe I can write this book but I have doubts whether potential publishers or agents will believe that I have enough credibility to sell it. Only one way to find out.

Dare greatly.

Just Believe

Yesterday I unleashed a Pandora’s Box of fear and doubt when I finally made a start on my first book proposal:

Who am I to do this?

Can I do this?

Do I have enough credibility to sell the proposal?

Can I keep going if no one buys it?

I soon realised I can’t answer these questions and maybe I don’t need to either. I just need to believe – in myself and the book.

To encourage me for what I suspect will be a long journey I keep in mind a couplet from Goethe:

What you can do or dream you can, begin it;

Boldness has genius, magic and power in it.

“You’re going to know failure…”

Roger Federer after his loss to Novak Djokovic in the 2019 Wimbledon final. (Photo by Simon M Bruty/Getty Images Sport/Getty.)

Last month I applied for a fellowship with Ann Friedman, a well-established journalist and podcaster. I hoped to learn from her and contribute to her popular newsletter but, alas, I wasn’t chosen. Turns out I was competing with 516 other people. But Ann was generous enough to leave us, the rejected, with plenty of encouragement by way of links to resources she herself relies on.

Brené Brown said in her Netflix special The Call to Courage that “You’re going to know failure if you’re brave with your life.” I love that. Sometimes bravery, and not success, becomes the important thing. I understand Brené to mean if I’m brave with my life I’ll take risks and a risk is only a risk if there’s a chance, however small, of failing.

It’s interesting – I feel encouraged by the rejection. The worst (a simple “no”) came to pass and I’m still here.

Let’s take another shot. What’s the worst that could happen?